I drive and unwind- taming my spirit. Brian Wilson comes on the radio. Brian Wilson- a person tha had their life hijacked by a factions of betrayal financial interest cloaked in that of realignment of mental health.
It’s unsettlingly comfortable that I can see life unite art, and art imitate life. His life was broken up, it took him a long time to finally release what he had been trying to make for so long – The album Smile.
I burned up oil reflecting on past.
Iguess that’s wheat happens with age , you inevitably burn natural resources, that is a recreational luxury.
Deliberate pride that wallops equality. We orbit people like that every day. That has become immense pressure from equatorial environments- like weather in a different time in a different place. Spring has sprung and the weather is beautiful.
We are part of nature, and weathering is part of human nature.
weather can only be heeded and not controlled, it’s a natural element in life. We walk in our own weather, keeping our selves safe, as we
In my broken state of trust, I see usury. It seems to be as populated a state as churches to people.
I want to trust, yet in this place and in this state I see my own overzealous pride, or snobbery.
Time and perception fought over my lions of ego, like watching a turnstile of people voluntarily turning themselves into prisons. Prisons made of bars on every corner, prisons made from denial of what is, prisons made from people’s lack of belief and honesty with themselves.
As I first walked through; I was cut by pieces of mirror that were once there. Blood trickles, and upon its touch it lets me know of the pain I’m going through for not opening new doors to more people in communication..
The bitter opposition I feel within myself is nearly indescribable, yet I think this is the outcome of pushing against something that never had a resolve.
My life let so often by manufactured spirits, while my actual spirit nevver had time to grow to be.
Like a top I travel, and making oncoming plans while marking for the 123rd time, how not to live.
I bounce back to see history in its formation- Roman pride and might, Catholic money and structure, and American independence at the same time. Life seems to be a whirl.
My angry stubborn self rolls on, reasoning my way through the ionosphere of life that bring pains and understanding a new pleasure away from the prisons I’ve seen.
I come back down and see a multitude of reflections that reflect on how things could be, open to change; yet protective over my trust in this palace that’s become a prison so many times.
I see life innately in my face. the weather is awesome, can smell the grass, I come to see myself and peace align together. It’s beautiful, and quickly for off putting reasons toss it away out of fear- fear that I’ll inadvertently make poor choices.
That fear, I want to say is the fear of making choices- it’s not, it’s the fear of living with those choices. I struggle on, with great attitude- come to terms, and try to remove the shadow of darkness in pessimism that has been built my distrust.
As I see the world for what it is, there is promise, and much of it.
The blood that stains my hand? Just an anomaly of what stains my soul- My ow fears and my own problems.
Nothing to fear. Seeing th mind for what it is from what it was to make what it can be.
Courage. Life takes courage- courage not from danger, but courage of responsibility to tend to. It’s your own, it’s each others- it’s ours, it’s life.
i
